I had my midwife appt. last week and had the pleasure of drinking that nasty orange crap for the glucose test. Went through all the usual stuff and baby is head down, was hiccupping away while listening to the heartbeat, measuring right on target and my blood pressure is staying in check so far. I passed the glucose test but found out I’m anemic. I keep saying, “if it isn’t one thing, it’s another.” So, last night Patrick cooked steaks and I’m trying to find ways to fit more Iron into my diet so my next blood draw looks better. I’m not a big meat eater while pregnant so I’m not too surprised but I do still eat a ton of veggies and other sources.

The whole 29 and some weeks thing right now has me on freak out mode, knowing that I’m probably only at most 9-10 weeks away from delivery. (Pretty sure that I’ll deliver early again). I can’t help but feel like we have so much to do and buy even before this baby comes into the world. We can’t even come up with a for sure name…think we have our 1st but no middle.
Cut for length~ rest is about my cleaning / nesting and anxiety issues!
(more…)

Do you ever feel like others plan your week out before you have the chance to plan it yourself? Some weeks I feel like we have a million things we are doing without it actually being something I “schedule” us to do. This week is one is going to be one of those weeks and it’s stressing me out before Monday has even really begun. At times I enjoy the social activities, the dinners, the jaunts to the coast, the family time and on the other hand I just want a weekend to ourselves - Peace and Quiet.

We have all these plans for the backyard, the house, the garage and places I’d like to see this summer (I haven’t even gone downtown Portland, or the Saturday market, or the Waterfront..all places I’d love to see). For weekends now, someone pulls us this way or that way. As Patrick says, we can say “No” but that is a hard word for me. I don’t know, I’m so damn non-confrontational about everything and I realize that more then ever. I never used to be this way, I could stand up and say it how it is but now I hide behind things and don’t speak my mind on half of what pisses me off. It’s the whole “choose your battles” syndrome.

This week is not only 4th of July but a week with family. Let’s start off with the “schedule” of the week.
Monday – working until 1:00, landscaper appt. @ 2:00, store trip @ some point
Tuesday – working until 1:00, friends coming out to sign house papers so visit with them
Wednesday – (4th of July) setting fence posts with FIL, neighborhood bbq @ 5:30 ~ ??
Thursday – drop Mazda off for service @ 8:30am, Me work 9-1, Patrick goes with his dad to the airport to pick up James, picks up Mazda after, dinner at IL’s friends place
Friday – work 9-1 (was going to take off but not now), Patrick goes off with his brother for drinks (don’t get me started)
Saturday – driving to the coast with the family
Sunday – day off??? We need to start taping and marking the house for our 1 year anniv. warranty walk-thru.
*this doesn’t sound so bad but with a toddler things are way more complicated, although I’d never complain about having Braysen in my life!!!!*

We have had big plans for our backyard and have accomplished very little so far. It’s starting to bug me to say the least. The landscapers that the builder used didn’t exactly do the greatest job in preparing our yard for grass & mulch, they basically mowed the weeds and laid everything down on top. So, this spring our weeds were out of control to say the very least. We’ve spent quite a few hours on them but with raining weekends and only being able to work on it when kiddo is napping we are in a losing battle atm. We had a neighbor (who recently moved) offer to help us with our dog run fencing but he has since disappeared basically and we are going to do it ourselves. This Wed. we are finally setting the posts for it and hopefully that will be finished in the next 2 weeks.

I have a landscaper coming out to give me a quote on our deck (or patio since we are now checking into the cost of that – another topic that I do NOT want to get into). We’ll see how much that is going to set us back and maybe see what they quote us on terracing our slope with different levels of beds. I’d like for us to just buy the materials and pay labor but we’ll see how this all works. I’ve never had to work with a landscaper before and I want to get a few more quotes also after this guy. We’ve talked of just doing it ourselves too but finding the time for all this crap is near impossible lately!

This summer has been honestly miserable with rain. This is the first week that it’s going to be especially warm and nice. I really don’t know how I’m going to stand living in Oregon for the rest of my life – I have told Patrick this too…between the weather and some other issues …I really think I need out after I finish school but we’ll see.

I’m just happy that I have some friends in the neighborhood to talk to about my rants and ramblings. That’s probably why I don’t vent so much on here anymore. I find myself with less time on the computer to type this all. It feels good to type it out though!

This had me crying last night and I cannot even imagine what this family is going through. This is a mom that is on a message board (thenest.com) that I used to visit pretty regularly before joining a toddler mom’s board. Saw this posted last night and I still can’t stop thinking about it. It makes me appreciate the hugs I give Braysen so much more.
Please keep this family and little girl in your prayers!

Baby Alison

Apr 27, 2003
Sitting here going through things on my computer since I’m getting a new one and found this poem that I wrote over a year ago. I look back at how much has changed from last year. The person I used to be is now gone and i’m still growing and finding myself here in a new state. The days are definitely lonely, without friends, family and familiarity of a place i’ve lived almost my whole life. Can’t believe it’s been a year.

Clouds drift in
creating a soft haze over the green valley
My mind drifting like the clouds,
My thoughts flowing with the gentle breeze
The smell of purity through the air as the roses bloom,
creating a rainbow of colors across the hills.
A gentle rain starts to fall kissing my skin ever so lightly
The grass damp beneath my feet as I walk,
tickles my toes
Walking with the rain still lightly showering my now wet body,
enjoying the cooling of the early night air.
Through the haze he approaches me,
his body seeming to float amongst the clouds.
his hand reaches out to me and my body yearns,
for the warmth of his hand in mine.
Our feet feel light, as if we are lifting off the ground,
As the waves of emotion from his touch bring me into another state of consciousness,
both of us lost,
Drifting around the clouds but never losing touch of one another